I once saw a man who I didn't feel good about seeing.
He would call me dozens of times, anxious and desperate. "Mistress, I have to see you. Please. Now. NOW."
I saw him twice before I confronted him with what was actually happening in his life. Why the anxiety? Why the frenetic energy? Where was the desperation coming from? I refused to let him off the hook with avoidance or a weak excuse, rationalization, or justification. Finally, he opened up.
"I guess I just don't feel good enough for any woman. I feel like all I have to offer is my money. I hate that I can't stop paying women to give me attention. I hate myself so much for it that I feel like I deserve to suffer after they take the cash I give them. Every time I feel bad about something, I try to find any woman who will abuse me financially because I feel like I deserve to be treated like the piece of shit I am. Escorts. Dommes. Strippers. Anyone. I can't stop. The cycle doesn't stop."
He wanted love, connection, and intimacy so much, but his wiring had been fucked up from a childhood of neglect and criticism and he was trapped in an endless shame spiral.
Kinky DATING & RELATIONSHIP COACHING
Confused about kinky dating or how to interact with the vanilla dating world as a kinkster? Struggling with sexual or kinky identity issues, how to safely explore your fetishes and desires, how to recover if you have been outed, navigating non-monogamy, your relationship with your Dominatrix, or challenges with shame, sex, and intimacy?
If so, send me a message and we will go from there.
HEALING SEXUAL SHAME
Sexual shame in men can stem from childhood or adult sexual abuse; a heavily sex-shaming religious upbringing, family, or culture; traumatic or embarrassing previous sexual experiences; a lack of sexual experience by choice or circumstance, or a society that shames men for having alternative sexual desires or interests.
If you have or are experiencing sexual shame, send me a message. It can be healed, and it is possible for you to have a positive, fulfilling sexual relationship with your body and with a partner.